Liveblogging the NBA Draft

9:37 - At long last, the first round is done, a mere 2:05 after it started. And I'm officially bored, so I'm outtie.

My final thoughts:

Tonight's big winner was Portland: They got Oden, got a stud to play alongside him (Fry) and got rid of a ballhog (Randolph). I still don't like Seattle hanging onto Lewis, but I like them shipping Allen to the Celtics, who are trying to appease Paul Pierce. (It won't work.) The Yi drama with Milwaukee (will he report to the Bucks, or will he be a douche and hold out) will be horribly boring to behold.

And with that, I'm back to my pudding and Dr Pepper. Peace out.

9:31 - Alando Tucker is the steal of the draft. He's got so much talent, he's so athletic and so versatile. BUT he can also suck. He stunk for the first 35 minutes against Northwestern before finally realizing there was a game going on and he should start making shots. Then he dominated.

I know the draft is, as the cliche goes, an inexact science...but I don't like it when guys who have proven they can succeed at the college level get passed up on guys with so-so numbers but seemingly more potential. But the draft is all about upside and minimizing mistakes. Not making the best picks - simply not making the worst ones. You don't want to be the guy who passes on Michael Jordan (a young guy with lots of talent), so you ignore sure-fire answers, like Tucker. You'll take a chance on a guy from China (Yi) over a guy who was the best player in the NCAA title game (Brewer).

I don't like it, but that's just the way it is.

9:12 - Are we there yet?

The Rockets just drafted a Fred Jones-wannabe, Aaron Brooks. They need a guard, so I'll go with it.

Wait-wait-wait...the Sonics want to keep Rashard Lewis?!?! That makes three practically identical players: Durant, Lewis and Jeff Green. I don't like it. You don't want interchangable parts in basketball. You're building an NBA roster, not a Model-T Ford. NBA teams need diversity - a couple big men, a good swingman, a couple shooters, and a guy to give them the ball - to make it work. Having three players who will take up probably 40 percent of the team's salary next year who are all the same just doesn't make sense.

8:59 - Can you imagine BUYING a draft pick? We're not talking about a home, an SUV or even an iPhone here. Buying a draft pick!

I wish I had $3 million to throw around for a guy from Spain who might not even play this year. Geez...

And if you're Phoenix, why do you make this move? Last I checked, their team wasn't perfect - still no title. Some young talent would have been nice for vets like Nash and Bell. Maybe Nash thinks he can buy a ring with a few more Benjamins.

8:53 - I've often thought about how cool it would be if every profession had a draft. I'd love to stroll up to the stage in a suit (and NOT a bowtie), shake Bob Woodward's hand and put on my Sports Illustrated cap. Imagine the interview with Stuart Scott afterwards:

Stu: When you heard your name called, what was the first thing that went through your mind?

Me: Man, Stu, I was excited. SI's a great organization, and I'm just thrilled to be a part of it.

Stu: There's only so much room for stories each week. How are you going to be able to deal with working alongside Rick Reilly and Michael Silver?

Me: Mike and Rick are great, man. They were callin' me up every day, like, 'Yo, Matt, you gotta come here, dawg.' We'll be aite.

Stu: Matt said he's been working his whole life for this moment - from talking to Bigfoot experts to liveblogging boring NBA Drafts. Looks like it finally paid off.

8:48 - Call me crazy, but I just don't like any pick where the guy's name starts with "Dud." Sorry, dude.

8:42 - Nice move by the Heat. They needed a guard, and they'll get one with Cook in this trade. Plus, they need the money.

Why? James Posey and Jason Kapono are free agents, and they want to resign one or both of them. But they have no salary cap room, thanks to Shaq and Wade. The cash will help them try and resign Posey or Kapono - and afford the luxury tax if they go over the cap. Good pick.

8:29 - ESPN mentions the Andrew Bynum and Lamar Odom for J.O. deal. Sounds good to me. As I've said before, I'd take a bowl of pudding for J.O. at this point. The pudding is more stable, is healthier and a better leader.

Oh God. It's the end of the world.

Dick Vitale and Stephen A. Smith are arguing. My hearing has been permanently damaged by the two biggest loudmouths in the media - and that's saying a lot.

Vitale namedrops Eva Longoria for the second time tonight. Maybe it's in his contract - a fat bonus from Disney for bringing up the "Desperate Housewives" star?

8:19 - The Nets pick Sean Williams, and I'll make the comment ESPN's The Sports Guy will surely make in his running diary: Will they take a bong with their next pick?

Williams has a history of drug problems and was kicked out of school in January, presumably because of them. Here's the kicker: The Nets are in talks with the Pacers about J.O. Knowing our luck, we'll get stuck with Williams and his pot problems. Tinsley and Marquis Daniels need some more guys to go to strip clubs with now that Stephen Jackson's in Golden State.

8:14 - Another trade, but not a monster one. And it's a good one for Portland - Zach Randolph needs to go, and getting a solid veteran like Steve Francis and a young baller with tons of potential like Channing Frye is great.

Randolph will be an OK fit with the Knicks - if Isiah Thomas doesn't ruin him first. Which is always a big if.

8:10 - Good for Nick Young, ending his stint in the green room. Keep in mind, if this were the NFL Draft, Brady Quinn would still be sitting there - for another two hours. But the NFL Draft's ratings will absolutely slaughter tonight's. Go figure.

8:05 - Good pick for Detroit to prepare for Chauncey Billups' possible departure. I'm a bit surprised Al Thornton fell to No. 14...but not really. Someone solid always slips, and I guess he drew the short straw. Outside of the No. 1 pick, length and versatility seemed to be more important than size in this draft. It's all about upside and possibility rather than proven ballers like Thornton - I see him becoming a Udonis Haslem-type player. Solid, but no All-Star.

7:51 - Great. Hawks GM Billy Knight just compared Acie Law to Mark Jackson, one of my all-time favorite NBA players. Ughhh. I think I'm gonna need some more Dr Pepper...

The Hornets pick Julian Wright, a good pick for them. He didn't put up good numbers yet, but he has plenty of potential and athleticism to be a star, especially by pairing him with a great, young, fast point guard like Chris Paul.

7:46 - I'll be honest: I'm starting to get bored. The draft sucks when your team has absolutely nothing to gain from it. Plus the top players are gone, so most of these players are lesser-known and have gotten very little media hype.

7:38 - What?! The Hawks made a good pick?!?!!?!?

I don't have a joke here, because the pick is too ironic and painful. It should be the Pacers' pick. We traded it last year in the Al Harrington move.

What do the Pacers need most? A fast point guard who can make open shots, find his own shot, contribute immediately and make players around him better. We needed Acie Law. The deepest draft in years, and the Pacers don't have a pick...damn. If you don't mind, I'm going to drown my sorrows in Dr Pepper and Jell-O chocolate mint pudding.

7:31 - Know what's weird? I'm the same age or older than every player picked so far except for Noah. Hey, maybe that's why he dresses like a middle-aged media pundit!

Don't know much about the No. 10 pick, Spencer Hawes. But what'll happen with No. 11 should be interesting. If the Hawks have an ounce of intelligence in the front office, they'll go with a point guard - probably Acie Law IV.

But that's a big if. The Hawks are one of the worst franchises in sports and have been since Dominique Wilkins left. Horford's not gonna fix that. A good point guard that can develop into a star could, though.

7:25 - Uh, don't the Bulls already have, like, 50 guys just like Joakim Noah (lanky guys who can drive but can't shoot)?

I don't think Noah will be a good pro. He's athletic enough to be a star, but he doesn't have the shot or strength to amount to much at power forward. But if you want a 7-foot swingman, then he's your guy.

More importantly, WHO WEARS A BOWTIE TO THE NBA DRAFT?! This is an event popularized by men in aqua jackets, all black ensembles and suits without buttons. And he looks like a cheesy used car salesman. The NBA is, like Yi, a hip-hop league, but Noah looks less like Tupac and more like Tucker (Carlson). Chicago fans are gonna love that...

7:19 - I like Brandon Wright here. MJ's gotta give some love to his fellow Tar Heel. He's one of those picks that'll either be really good or really bad - either Tracy McGrady or Jonathan Bender. No in-between.

By the way, if you're being mentored by a member of the Atlanta Hawks, God help you. You'll need it.

7:12 - Bobcats on the clock now, and it'll be interesting. They've been shopping their picks for weeks, trying to get some veterans. I can see the Pacers trying to break in here with a deal. If they get rid of someone tonight, it'll be Jamaal Tinsley. The focus is on JO - and rightfully so - but it's always the trades you don't hear about that go down. No one thought the Raiders would send Randy Moss to the Patriots on draft day in April - and that's why it went down. Same thing here.

Again, if JO (or KG) gets traded tonight, I'll be shocked.

7:11 - Good pick by the Wolves. Corey Brewer was the best player on the court in the NCAA Championship game. Over Oden and Conley. BY FAR. Wasn't even close.

Brewer is long and lanky and can do it all. In case you can't tell, I totally have the hots for him.

7:05 - ...Wow. ESPN just called Yi "new school. He's hip-hop. He's 50 Cent."

I don't know about you, but when I think 50 Cent, I think of a 7-foot Chinese basketball player.

7:03 - The one good thing about the draft? It goes fast - five minutes a pick. If this were the NFL Draft, we'd still be on the second pick. Instead, the Bucks picked Yi. Um, he'll fit in great up there?

7:00 - Sorry for calling Yi the Chinese dude - couldn't remember his name. Probably not worth remembering, anyway. I really don't think he has the experience, size or talent to be a star. Yao Ming can be a star because he's 7-7. Yi isn't. Don't expect the same results.

6:52 - Good pick. Conley (another Hoosier) is a baller. He's fast, a good shooter and a good finisher. Memphis needs everything, so I like how they're trying to start with the most important position (point guard).

I love my dad to death...but no way in hell am I letting him be my agent. I don't trust my dad to run the radio in the minivan, let alone my financial and professional future.

Sadly, I just agreed with Stephen A. Smith about the Hawks missing out on Conley. I feel so dirty...

6:48 - Wow, the Hawks actually made the right move by passing on the Chinese guy. Well, kind of. Horford's good, but I don't think he'll be a great pro. He just doesn't seem big enough to bang around in the paint - he's like Sean May with the Bobcats. Good college player. Great high school player. But he doesn't have the body to become an All-Star worthy of the third pick.

The Hawks should have gone with Mike Conley, Jr. from Ohio State...more on that later.

6:41 - Remember how I said all of those rumors were bull? Yeah, I lied. Ray Allen's going to the Celtics, probably, and the Sonics will get two top-five picks. Good move for them.

Personally, I'm excited for the Sonics to bring Durant and their other new rookie to Oklahoma City and start something new in a state that needs a pro team like Kevin Durant needs a weight trainer.

With two amazing, no-brainer choices at the top of the draft, I'm reminded of the 2003 and 1984 drafts: Darko sandwiched between LeBron and Melo in '03, and Sam Bowie between Hakeem the Dream and Michael Jordan. But no drama here. The Sonics are too smart.

In other news, don't expect Atlanta to trade their picks: they've got major management issues goin' on there with owners who don't want to spend money or change anything. It took weeks to get the Al Harrington deal done, even though both parties really had no negotiating to do. Same thing happens here.

Also, I expect the Hawks to take the Chinese guy here for marketing reasons - they want to tap into the Chinese market and its billions of dollars.

6:40 - You know what? I like Oden. Funny guy. He's not quite Shaq, but he's still a funny guy. Apparently he wasn't rubbing his hands in anxiety - he was putting on hand sanitizer so he wouldn't get Stern sick.

6:36 - Told ya. Durant can still be the No. 2 pick, though.

Shout-out to my Indiana homedawg, Greg Oden. I can't help but wish he were coming to Indiana, obviously. I was hoping a Jermaine O'Neal for Oden pick would come around...but no such luck. Portland GM Kevin Pritchard is far too smart for that.

Speaking of JO, word on the street is that the Nets want him for Richard Jefferson, Nenad Kristic and another guy. Fine by me. Jefferson's a baller, and Kristic is a young guy with tons of potential. Pair him with Danny Granger, and you've got a good start. No Reggie-Smits combo, but it's a start.

6:33 - A stunning speech by David Stern. Apparently next year will be one of the best ever. Just as how last year's was?? He must be thinking what I'm thinking: Spurs dynasty, baby!

By the way, no way are they picking Durant over Oden. Not gonna happen.

6:24 - I'd be lying if I said the suspense is killing me, but I'm ready for the draft to start. The rumors are starting to get sickening: In the past week, Kevin Garnett has been rumored to be the centerpiece of trades involving: the Lakers, Suns, Celtics, Pacers, Bobcats, Hawks and Warriors. Damn!

I don't remember a draft - or an offseason - with so many rumors swirling around. Paul Pierce, Kobe Bryant, KG, Shawn Marion and JO all want out. My bet? They all stay put. It's too hard to work a blockbuster trade - especially one that would have to involve three or four teams, as these deals would.

I can't help but feel that this whole set of rumors is a metaphor for the draft as a whole: All hype, no action. The draft's climax, as SI aptly put in April with the NFL Draft, is a man walking to a podium and saying 20 words. It's like a mini-sociology lecture or something...but even more boring.

But at the same time, here I am glued to my TV. Go figure.

Why we're fascinated with the offseason

ESPN's The Sports Guy wrote recently that the NBA is, frankly, screwed. The NBA Finals were boring, the league's biggest star choked on its biggest stage, and the biggest dynasty since Jordan's Bulls is as fun to watch as C-SPAN.

Enter the offseason, where we can dream about Greg Oden or Kevin Durant, landing Kevin Garnett in a trade or, if you're a Pacers fan, getting rid of Jamaal Tinsley.

TSG had a point, as we've seen over the past week as four of the NBA's top 20 players (Garnett, Kobe Bryant, Paul Pierce and Jermaine O'Neal) either asked for trades, reiterated their trade demands or all but conceded that they'd on their way out of town.

But when you think about it, there's nothing really interesting about what's going on. It's a bunch of rumors that'll never happen - the trades you hear about are the ones that'll fall through; the only ones that actually happen come out of nowhere.

Do you really think four NBA teams can agree to a deal involving three All-Stars? Or three teams can agree on a trade involving two All-Stars and a ton of first round picks? No way.

So why do we get swept up in these rumors?

For starters, there's not much else to do. We're in the dreaded lull in the sports world no football, no basketball, no Olympics, hell, not even the World Cup. We're left with the WNBA, the MLS and guys running around a diamond in sausage costumes.

But we're still stuck in the 24-hour sports cycle on ESPN. We have to talk about something, and given the choice between Bengals getting arrested, guys hitting a ball with a wooden stick and possible NBA trades, I'll take the NBA every time.

The other thing NBA rumors have is that they can interest anyone because every team has something to gain. No one aside from Spurs fans (but honestly, who likes the Spurs?) is happy with the results of last year, so they have an incentive to improve - which is what the next three months are all about.

So visions of KG and Kobe are dancing in my head. Which, I suppose, is better than thinking about the Indiana Fever or the Milwaukee Brewers.

On a programming note, I'll be liveblogging the NBA Draft tomorrow when it starts at 7 ET (6 CT). And, just so I have it in writing, a couple quick predictions:

1. No way the Blazers pass on Oden. Dominant big men are too hard to come by and too important (seven of the last eight NBA titles have been won by a team with either Tim Duncan or Shaq) for Portland to ignore. Durant's good - he'll probably even be the better pro - but there are plenty of Durants in the NBA already: Vince Carter, Kobe, McGrady, Shawn Marion and LeBron James, to name a few.

2. The Pacers make a deal and somehow get in the draft.

3. The Hawks take Al Horford with the third pick but try to deal it later. Either way, Horford is a bust.

4. Kansas' Julian Wright slips into the late teens before a team eagerly snaps him up. Analysts call it the steal of the draft.

5. No Oklahoma player is drafted. Sorry, JamesOn.

6. Kobe stays put. So does KG. And Pierce. And Amare.

A franchise in search of a franchise player

My relationship with the Indiana Pacers' Jermaine O'Neal has had more ups and downs than a Spanish soap opera. When he came to the Pacers in exchange for Dale Davis, I was ticked. When he started swatting shots as if they were gnats, I was excited. And now I'd trade him for a box of Special K and a couple of otters holding hands.

So why the change of heart?

Dale was one of my favorite players - a blue collar, hard-working guy who did the dirty work, cleaning up rebounds and creating second-chance opportunities for the team's scorers. So trading him for a young, unproven guy who skipped college and rode the bench for a few years didn't seem right.

Well, I was wrong.

O'Neal turned out to be a shot-blocking, rebounding, scoring machine. His Awesomeness, Reggie Miller, even appointed him the team's leader and face of the franchise after Miller retired in 2005. He seemed to fill the role, making five All-Star teams and averaging 20 points and 10 rebounds a game.

I embraced him as the team's saviour who would finally lead us to an NBA title. I mean, if Reggie said he could do it, then J.O. was ready to be the next Bill Russell.

But for whatever reason, O'Neal just hasn't worked out. It's nothing personal; he's a good guy who contributes to the community, stayed humble and has always been a nice guy.

But, as they say, nice guys finish last. Or, in the case of the Pacers, ninth in the conference and out of the playoff picture for the first time in a decade.

O'Neal was supposed to be the team's vocal and emotional leader after Reggie left. He's been about as vocal as Helen Keller - except when he was whining about losing or complaining to the refs.

He's played well, but the team hasn't. Our record has gotten worse each of the last four years, and, along the way, something else happened.

Fans stopped caring. Conseco Fieldhouse was half-empty during games. No one wore Pacers jerseys around town. And along the way, the Colts became the No. 1 team in town. In Indiana - the biggest basketball state in the country - a football team became the main draw.

Someone has to take the fall for it. Coach Rick Carlisle already did when he was fired - but that's not enough. The roster's already been blown up: Only five players (O'Neal, Danny Granger, Jeff Foster, Jamaal Tinsley and David Harrison) from the end of the 2006 season are still on the team.

But it's not enough. The Pacers need to start over around Granger and Harrison. You can't do that with $18 million going to O'Neal each of the next three seasons.

So, just three seasons after I was ready to annoint him the next Reggie, I'm ready to trade him for a washed-up druggie and a young guy whose career average is 5 points per game.

But desperate times call for desperate measures. And apathy about basketball in the land of John Wooden, Larry Bird and Oscar Robertson is as desperate as it gets.

So farewell, J.O. Bring on the Special K.

Why no one likes baseball's best player

Fans are pretty easy to figure out. If a team wins, they're happy. If it loses, they're ticked. Simple as that.

Same goes with players. Perform well, you're loved. But the instant you start sucking, you might as well have started wearing swastikas.

So why doesn't anyone like Barry Bonds? He's clearly good: he's already broken one of baseball's biggest records - by hitting 73 home runs in 2002 - and, any day now, will break the other by knocking his 756th career homer. But he remains as unpopular as an zit flare-up on prom night.

The answer here is simple, too. And it has nothing to do with his alleged steroid use (which, if you ever read Game of Shadows by Mark Fainaru-Wada and Lance Williams suddenly looks much less alleged and much more authentic).

It's because of his story. Well, and the fact that he's a douchebag.

Think of your favorite sports movie. Got it?

Good. Now I'll describe the plot: A (player/team/coach) is hard on (his/her/their) luck. (He/she/they) have all the talent in the world, but because of external factors (such as racial or financial background) cannot achieve (his/her/their) potential. Then, miraculously, (he/she/they) do. Roll credits.

It's the purest archetype in cinema: the underdog story you can see coming from your cheap seat in the nosebleeds but can't get enough of. Whether it's The Mighty Ducks, Rudy or even The Waterboy, the story is the same; only the names and settings differ.

If the story happens in real life, even better. No one cares about hockey, but the Miracle on Ice is one of the most famous sporting events of the last 100 years. Few care about class-less high school basketball anymore in Indiana, but Hoosiers still gives us goosebumps.

It's an easy story to write, too. A small high school in New Orleans, torn apart by Katrina, comes together to win the Louisiana state basketball title (ESPN and SI reported on it). A team's coach loses his son to suicide and then drops in the NFL Playoffs early, only to come back the next year and win the Super Bowl (See: my Indianapolis Colts). And, to be fair, a quarterback from Kuwait loses his family in the Gulf War and comes back to have a shot at the NFL (me at the Sun-Sentinel).

We love the story because it's easy to relate to. Average Joe Fan isn't big or powerful - he's got crap tickets behind a pole in section ZZZ. He wants athletes he can see himself in to get the illusion that he could be out on the field - or that the guys he's paying $30 to go see are like him. He wants to know that they're human, that they've experienced things he has. When he does and can relate to them, he pulls for them: Hey, I lost my son in an accident - I want Coach Dungy to win! Or You know, I'm not the richest guy in the world...just once I'd like to see a poor schmo like me take on the big guys and win. Thanks, Florida Marlins!

Think of the guys we like in sports: Dwyane Wade (deemed too small for the NBA). LaDanian Tomlinson (went to TCU because no one else wanted him). Yao Ming (awkward foreigner in a new land trying to live his dream). Etc.

Which brings us back to Bonds.

We can't relate to him. His daddy, Bobby, was a borderline Hall of Fame baseball player, so Barry had plenty of money growing up. His godfather was Willie Mays, so he had every sliver of encouragement and training you could ask for. Could we get over this kind of a background? Of course. Ken Griffey Jr.'s dad was a star, but enough Seattle fans still love him after he asked to be traded. But we view Barry as the rich, snotty kid who got into Yale (or Northwestern) because of his parents' money and his last name rather than his GPA.

But for whatever reason, Barry still pretends he's the victim. He throws pity parties for himself. He mopes in the corner of the locker room with his recliner and big-screen TV only he may watch. He pretends the media is making up his steroid allegations and trying to defame him because he's black.

In short, Barry Bonds is trying to make himself into a Cinderella figure - even though he's the ugliest step-sister in the room.

If he didn't have his Maradonna complex, would we like him? Maybe, maybe not. We might look past his alleged steroid use, as we have with Marion Jones or Shawne Merriman. But we can't with Bonds because we can't see ourselves in him. How can you relate to a guy who comes from a family with money, makes millions more but still thinks he's a poor, underappreciated guy?

The irony, of course, is that Bonds' tale would make a pretty decent movie. He's become the star of some twisted, Grimm Brothers take on the Cinderella story: A man who, despite the disdain of most fans, the distrust of the media and the encouragement of no one, becomes one of baseball's best players ever.

But the suffocating factors haven't been external. The cause of his crumbling hasn't been poverty, hurricanes, a small frame or an overbearing mother. It's been himself.

And that's why Bonds' tale is tragic, why he sits alone in his locker every day. Why he was voted the meanest guy in the Major Leagues in a Sports Illustrated players poll.

And that's why, if his story ever does hit the silver screen, few will pay to see it.

Uh, hi?

BREAKING NEWS: Blogs are popular. Also, Paris Hilton is spoiled, Barry Bonds is a cheat and Nicolas Cage hasn't made a decent movie in years.

I know: I'm a little late jumping on the blogwagon. About five years late. In all fairness, blogs have just started to become journalistically acceptable. And by that I mean, newspapers are starting to realize that blogs are a way to drive readers to their Web site and boost advertising, so most beat writers and editors are blogging and live blogging to their modems' content.

I had my own Web site - www.AWasteOfWebSpace.com - for a couple years, but it took a lot more time than I had to update it, design it, maintain it and still find time to write a column every week or two. I couldn't find the time to come up with column ideas and execute them to the point where I didn't feel as if I humiliated myself or made a mockery of the subject. But with a blog, I can post what I want, when I want with little pressure.

So here I am.

I'm not sure where this blog will take me, but I want you to help me decide. Let me know what you think, and let's interact with comments and all that good stuff. I plan on using this space toshare stories - from my own experiences, or those I see on ESPN and can make snide remarks about. The focus will be sports because that's how I roll, but we'll see where it takes me. Hopefully I can keep this going for a while - until I get a full-time job after graduation next year, or until the NCAA makes me stop. Whichever comes first.