Liveblogging the NBA Draft

9:37 - At long last, the first round is done, a mere 2:05 after it started. And I'm officially bored, so I'm outtie.

My final thoughts:

Tonight's big winner was Portland: They got Oden, got a stud to play alongside him (Fry) and got rid of a ballhog (Randolph). I still don't like Seattle hanging onto Lewis, but I like them shipping Allen to the Celtics, who are trying to appease Paul Pierce. (It won't work.) The Yi drama with Milwaukee (will he report to the Bucks, or will he be a douche and hold out) will be horribly boring to behold.

And with that, I'm back to my pudding and Dr Pepper. Peace out.

9:31 - Alando Tucker is the steal of the draft. He's got so much talent, he's so athletic and so versatile. BUT he can also suck. He stunk for the first 35 minutes against Northwestern before finally realizing there was a game going on and he should start making shots. Then he dominated.

I know the draft is, as the cliche goes, an inexact science...but I don't like it when guys who have proven they can succeed at the college level get passed up on guys with so-so numbers but seemingly more potential. But the draft is all about upside and minimizing mistakes. Not making the best picks - simply not making the worst ones. You don't want to be the guy who passes on Michael Jordan (a young guy with lots of talent), so you ignore sure-fire answers, like Tucker. You'll take a chance on a guy from China (Yi) over a guy who was the best player in the NCAA title game (Brewer).

I don't like it, but that's just the way it is.

9:12 - Are we there yet?

The Rockets just drafted a Fred Jones-wannabe, Aaron Brooks. They need a guard, so I'll go with it.

Wait-wait-wait...the Sonics want to keep Rashard Lewis?!?! That makes three practically identical players: Durant, Lewis and Jeff Green. I don't like it. You don't want interchangable parts in basketball. You're building an NBA roster, not a Model-T Ford. NBA teams need diversity - a couple big men, a good swingman, a couple shooters, and a guy to give them the ball - to make it work. Having three players who will take up probably 40 percent of the team's salary next year who are all the same just doesn't make sense.

8:59 - Can you imagine BUYING a draft pick? We're not talking about a home, an SUV or even an iPhone here. Buying a draft pick!

I wish I had $3 million to throw around for a guy from Spain who might not even play this year. Geez...

And if you're Phoenix, why do you make this move? Last I checked, their team wasn't perfect - still no title. Some young talent would have been nice for vets like Nash and Bell. Maybe Nash thinks he can buy a ring with a few more Benjamins.

8:53 - I've often thought about how cool it would be if every profession had a draft. I'd love to stroll up to the stage in a suit (and NOT a bowtie), shake Bob Woodward's hand and put on my Sports Illustrated cap. Imagine the interview with Stuart Scott afterwards:

Stu: When you heard your name called, what was the first thing that went through your mind?

Me: Man, Stu, I was excited. SI's a great organization, and I'm just thrilled to be a part of it.

Stu: There's only so much room for stories each week. How are you going to be able to deal with working alongside Rick Reilly and Michael Silver?

Me: Mike and Rick are great, man. They were callin' me up every day, like, 'Yo, Matt, you gotta come here, dawg.' We'll be aite.

Stu: Matt said he's been working his whole life for this moment - from talking to Bigfoot experts to liveblogging boring NBA Drafts. Looks like it finally paid off.

8:48 - Call me crazy, but I just don't like any pick where the guy's name starts with "Dud." Sorry, dude.

8:42 - Nice move by the Heat. They needed a guard, and they'll get one with Cook in this trade. Plus, they need the money.

Why? James Posey and Jason Kapono are free agents, and they want to resign one or both of them. But they have no salary cap room, thanks to Shaq and Wade. The cash will help them try and resign Posey or Kapono - and afford the luxury tax if they go over the cap. Good pick.

8:29 - ESPN mentions the Andrew Bynum and Lamar Odom for J.O. deal. Sounds good to me. As I've said before, I'd take a bowl of pudding for J.O. at this point. The pudding is more stable, is healthier and a better leader.

Oh God. It's the end of the world.

Dick Vitale and Stephen A. Smith are arguing. My hearing has been permanently damaged by the two biggest loudmouths in the media - and that's saying a lot.

Vitale namedrops Eva Longoria for the second time tonight. Maybe it's in his contract - a fat bonus from Disney for bringing up the "Desperate Housewives" star?

8:19 - The Nets pick Sean Williams, and I'll make the comment ESPN's The Sports Guy will surely make in his running diary: Will they take a bong with their next pick?

Williams has a history of drug problems and was kicked out of school in January, presumably because of them. Here's the kicker: The Nets are in talks with the Pacers about J.O. Knowing our luck, we'll get stuck with Williams and his pot problems. Tinsley and Marquis Daniels need some more guys to go to strip clubs with now that Stephen Jackson's in Golden State.

8:14 - Another trade, but not a monster one. And it's a good one for Portland - Zach Randolph needs to go, and getting a solid veteran like Steve Francis and a young baller with tons of potential like Channing Frye is great.

Randolph will be an OK fit with the Knicks - if Isiah Thomas doesn't ruin him first. Which is always a big if.

8:10 - Good for Nick Young, ending his stint in the green room. Keep in mind, if this were the NFL Draft, Brady Quinn would still be sitting there - for another two hours. But the NFL Draft's ratings will absolutely slaughter tonight's. Go figure.

8:05 - Good pick for Detroit to prepare for Chauncey Billups' possible departure. I'm a bit surprised Al Thornton fell to No. 14...but not really. Someone solid always slips, and I guess he drew the short straw. Outside of the No. 1 pick, length and versatility seemed to be more important than size in this draft. It's all about upside and possibility rather than proven ballers like Thornton - I see him becoming a Udonis Haslem-type player. Solid, but no All-Star.

7:51 - Great. Hawks GM Billy Knight just compared Acie Law to Mark Jackson, one of my all-time favorite NBA players. Ughhh. I think I'm gonna need some more Dr Pepper...

The Hornets pick Julian Wright, a good pick for them. He didn't put up good numbers yet, but he has plenty of potential and athleticism to be a star, especially by pairing him with a great, young, fast point guard like Chris Paul.

7:46 - I'll be honest: I'm starting to get bored. The draft sucks when your team has absolutely nothing to gain from it. Plus the top players are gone, so most of these players are lesser-known and have gotten very little media hype.

7:38 - What?! The Hawks made a good pick?!?!!?!?

I don't have a joke here, because the pick is too ironic and painful. It should be the Pacers' pick. We traded it last year in the Al Harrington move.

What do the Pacers need most? A fast point guard who can make open shots, find his own shot, contribute immediately and make players around him better. We needed Acie Law. The deepest draft in years, and the Pacers don't have a pick...damn. If you don't mind, I'm going to drown my sorrows in Dr Pepper and Jell-O chocolate mint pudding.

7:31 - Know what's weird? I'm the same age or older than every player picked so far except for Noah. Hey, maybe that's why he dresses like a middle-aged media pundit!

Don't know much about the No. 10 pick, Spencer Hawes. But what'll happen with No. 11 should be interesting. If the Hawks have an ounce of intelligence in the front office, they'll go with a point guard - probably Acie Law IV.

But that's a big if. The Hawks are one of the worst franchises in sports and have been since Dominique Wilkins left. Horford's not gonna fix that. A good point guard that can develop into a star could, though.

7:25 - Uh, don't the Bulls already have, like, 50 guys just like Joakim Noah (lanky guys who can drive but can't shoot)?

I don't think Noah will be a good pro. He's athletic enough to be a star, but he doesn't have the shot or strength to amount to much at power forward. But if you want a 7-foot swingman, then he's your guy.

More importantly, WHO WEARS A BOWTIE TO THE NBA DRAFT?! This is an event popularized by men in aqua jackets, all black ensembles and suits without buttons. And he looks like a cheesy used car salesman. The NBA is, like Yi, a hip-hop league, but Noah looks less like Tupac and more like Tucker (Carlson). Chicago fans are gonna love that...

7:19 - I like Brandon Wright here. MJ's gotta give some love to his fellow Tar Heel. He's one of those picks that'll either be really good or really bad - either Tracy McGrady or Jonathan Bender. No in-between.

By the way, if you're being mentored by a member of the Atlanta Hawks, God help you. You'll need it.

7:12 - Bobcats on the clock now, and it'll be interesting. They've been shopping their picks for weeks, trying to get some veterans. I can see the Pacers trying to break in here with a deal. If they get rid of someone tonight, it'll be Jamaal Tinsley. The focus is on JO - and rightfully so - but it's always the trades you don't hear about that go down. No one thought the Raiders would send Randy Moss to the Patriots on draft day in April - and that's why it went down. Same thing here.

Again, if JO (or KG) gets traded tonight, I'll be shocked.

7:11 - Good pick by the Wolves. Corey Brewer was the best player on the court in the NCAA Championship game. Over Oden and Conley. BY FAR. Wasn't even close.

Brewer is long and lanky and can do it all. In case you can't tell, I totally have the hots for him.

7:05 - ...Wow. ESPN just called Yi "new school. He's hip-hop. He's 50 Cent."

I don't know about you, but when I think 50 Cent, I think of a 7-foot Chinese basketball player.

7:03 - The one good thing about the draft? It goes fast - five minutes a pick. If this were the NFL Draft, we'd still be on the second pick. Instead, the Bucks picked Yi. Um, he'll fit in great up there?

7:00 - Sorry for calling Yi the Chinese dude - couldn't remember his name. Probably not worth remembering, anyway. I really don't think he has the experience, size or talent to be a star. Yao Ming can be a star because he's 7-7. Yi isn't. Don't expect the same results.

6:52 - Good pick. Conley (another Hoosier) is a baller. He's fast, a good shooter and a good finisher. Memphis needs everything, so I like how they're trying to start with the most important position (point guard).

I love my dad to death...but no way in hell am I letting him be my agent. I don't trust my dad to run the radio in the minivan, let alone my financial and professional future.

Sadly, I just agreed with Stephen A. Smith about the Hawks missing out on Conley. I feel so dirty...

6:48 - Wow, the Hawks actually made the right move by passing on the Chinese guy. Well, kind of. Horford's good, but I don't think he'll be a great pro. He just doesn't seem big enough to bang around in the paint - he's like Sean May with the Bobcats. Good college player. Great high school player. But he doesn't have the body to become an All-Star worthy of the third pick.

The Hawks should have gone with Mike Conley, Jr. from Ohio State...more on that later.

6:41 - Remember how I said all of those rumors were bull? Yeah, I lied. Ray Allen's going to the Celtics, probably, and the Sonics will get two top-five picks. Good move for them.

Personally, I'm excited for the Sonics to bring Durant and their other new rookie to Oklahoma City and start something new in a state that needs a pro team like Kevin Durant needs a weight trainer.

With two amazing, no-brainer choices at the top of the draft, I'm reminded of the 2003 and 1984 drafts: Darko sandwiched between LeBron and Melo in '03, and Sam Bowie between Hakeem the Dream and Michael Jordan. But no drama here. The Sonics are too smart.

In other news, don't expect Atlanta to trade their picks: they've got major management issues goin' on there with owners who don't want to spend money or change anything. It took weeks to get the Al Harrington deal done, even though both parties really had no negotiating to do. Same thing happens here.

Also, I expect the Hawks to take the Chinese guy here for marketing reasons - they want to tap into the Chinese market and its billions of dollars.

6:40 - You know what? I like Oden. Funny guy. He's not quite Shaq, but he's still a funny guy. Apparently he wasn't rubbing his hands in anxiety - he was putting on hand sanitizer so he wouldn't get Stern sick.

6:36 - Told ya. Durant can still be the No. 2 pick, though.

Shout-out to my Indiana homedawg, Greg Oden. I can't help but wish he were coming to Indiana, obviously. I was hoping a Jermaine O'Neal for Oden pick would come around...but no such luck. Portland GM Kevin Pritchard is far too smart for that.

Speaking of JO, word on the street is that the Nets want him for Richard Jefferson, Nenad Kristic and another guy. Fine by me. Jefferson's a baller, and Kristic is a young guy with tons of potential. Pair him with Danny Granger, and you've got a good start. No Reggie-Smits combo, but it's a start.

6:33 - A stunning speech by David Stern. Apparently next year will be one of the best ever. Just as how last year's was?? He must be thinking what I'm thinking: Spurs dynasty, baby!

By the way, no way are they picking Durant over Oden. Not gonna happen.

6:24 - I'd be lying if I said the suspense is killing me, but I'm ready for the draft to start. The rumors are starting to get sickening: In the past week, Kevin Garnett has been rumored to be the centerpiece of trades involving: the Lakers, Suns, Celtics, Pacers, Bobcats, Hawks and Warriors. Damn!

I don't remember a draft - or an offseason - with so many rumors swirling around. Paul Pierce, Kobe Bryant, KG, Shawn Marion and JO all want out. My bet? They all stay put. It's too hard to work a blockbuster trade - especially one that would have to involve three or four teams, as these deals would.

I can't help but feel that this whole set of rumors is a metaphor for the draft as a whole: All hype, no action. The draft's climax, as SI aptly put in April with the NFL Draft, is a man walking to a podium and saying 20 words. It's like a mini-sociology lecture or something...but even more boring.

But at the same time, here I am glued to my TV. Go figure.