Numb3rs: Continued

Since my last update on how there's no real news in the sports world at the moment, ESPN further proved my point with its list of NFL players most valuable to their franchise (Peyton Manning is No. 3?! WTF?!) and yet another preseason top 10 list. Sigh.

Without further ado, here's the exciting conclusion of best players to wear each number EVER!!!!! (By the way, here is SI's list.)

51 - Randy Johnson. The best lefty pitcher since Koufax barely gets the nod of Dick Butkus, who, by the way, ranks No. 3 on my list of people I would least like to meet in a dark alley, behind only Chuck Liddell and Diddy.

52 - Ray Lewis. Who ranks first on my list of people I'd least like to invite to my Super Bowl party.

53 - Don Drysdale. The other legendary Dodgers pitcher of the '50s.

54 - Randy White. Legendary Cowboys linebacker wins out due to lack of competition.

55 - Junior Seau. One of the best linebackers in NFL history, he singlehandedly took the awful Chargers to the 1994 Super Bowl.

56 - Lawrence Taylor. Best. Linebacker. Ever. He was LT before LDT started thinking he was LT.

57 - Dwight Stephenson. Hall of Fame center for Dan Marino's Dolphins teams.

58 - Derrick Thomas. The second-best linebacker of the 1990s, behind Seau. He lost his life in a car accident far too soon.

59 - Seth Joyner. Great linebacker for the Cardinals who would have been better had he not played on some sucktastic teams.

60 - Otto Graham. Legendary Cleveland Browns quarterback and, more importantly, the best Northwestern athlete ever.

61 - Chan Ho Park. *sigh* We're getting desperate here.

62 - Jim Langler - Six-time All-Pro center with the Dolphins.

63 - Jeff Saturday. The Colts center is part of why Peyton Manning is Peyton Manning.

64 - Randall McDaniel. Great offensive guard for the Vikings who wins because I can't think of anyone else.

65 - Elvin Bethea. Never heard of him, either, but apparently he went to the Pro Bowl eight times.

66 - Mario Lemieux. The best hockey player not named Gretzky, but the worst owner since George W. Bush ruined the Texas Rangers.

67 - Russell Maryland. Underrated defensive tackle for those great Cowboys teams of the 1990s.

68 - Jaromir Jagr. The other half of the Penguins teams that starred Lemieux. But that was back when more people watched the Stanley Cup than NCAA softball. Not anymore...

69 - Mark Schlereth. Mediocre offensive guard and even more mediocre ESPN analyst.

70 - Sam Huff. Great Giants and Redskins linebacker of the 50's and 60's.

71 - Tony Boselli. Big left tackle who kept many a quarterbacks safe, both in college and the pros.

72 - Ed "Too Tall" Jones. Awesome defensive end with an even more awesome nickname.

73 - John Hannah. SI called him the best offensive lineman ever at one point. So he was probably good, or something.

74 - Bruce Matthews. Second-best Houston Oilers player ever, behind Earl Campbell.

75 - Deacon Jones. Bad-ass sackmaster with the Rams who used to be No. 1 in league history in that category.

76 - Shawn Bradley. He doesn't deserve it, but it's been far too long since we've had a basketball player in here.

77 - Red Grange. If I could go back in time and watch five athletes in their prime, I think seeing The Galloping Ghost run over defenses would be one of my picks.

78 - Anthony Munoz. It kills me not to pick Colts tackle Tarik Glenn...but Munoz gets my vote for best offensive lineman ever.

79 - Bob St. Clair. I know nothing about him, but apparently he had a thing for eating raw beef. I don't mess with people who eat raw beef.

80 - Jerry Rice. Montana-to-Rice is the best sports combination (just barely edging out Manning-to-Harrison).

81 - Tim Brown. If you didn't know it, you'd never guess the Notre Dame grad ranks third all-time in TD catches.

82 - Raymond Barry. Before it was Manning-to-Harrison, it was Unitas-to-Barry.

83 - Mark Clayton. Marino wouldn't have been Marino without Clayton.

84 - Shannon Sharpe. Yes he's louder and more annoying than Stephen A. Smith, but he's also the best tight end in NFL history.

85 - Jack Youngblood. Great D-lineman who played the 1980 Super Bowl with a broken leg. Seriously.

86 - Buck Buchanan. Hall of Fame defensive tackle whom I know nothing about, but I really don't want to pick Steelers wideout Hines Ward.

87 - Dwight Clark. If only for "The Catch."

88 - Marvin Harrison. Before Peyton led us to the Promised Land, Marvin was my all-time favorite football player. Now it's a tie. If Harrison keeps up his pace (knock on wood), he could have better career numbers than even Rice himself. Plus he's humble and doesn't brag about it.

89 - Mike Ditka. Even if he did trade an entire draft for Ricky Williams...

90 - Niel Smith. Monster D-lineman who teamed with Derrick Thomas with some solid Chiefs teams.

91 - Dennis Rodman. Say what you will about his hair, nudity or sanity, but the man could rebound. And it's been too long since we've had a balla on the list.

92 - Reggie White. My vote for best defensive end ever.

93 - Dwight Freeney. My vote for best defensive end in the game today.

94 - Charles Haley. Great linebacker and D-lineman for the 49ers and Cowboys. Remember, the Cowboys didn't start winning Super Bowls until Haley came over. You can't mess with his five rings.

95 - Richard Dent. Focal point of the Monsters of the Midway. Just don't ask him to do the Super Bowl Shuffle.

96 - Pavel Bure. Russian hockey star for the Vancouver Canucks who was a speed demon on the ice.

97 - Jeremy Roenick. The recently retired hockey player is third in NHL history in goals scored by an American. U-S-A! U-S-A!

98 - Tony Siragusa. GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSE was the size of a semi-truck who plugged holes in the defensive line for my Colts and the Baltimore Ravens.

99 - Wayne Gretzky. Best. Hockey. Player. Ever.

And there we are. Moral of the story: Never start writing an enormous list that takes hours to write and is completely unoriginal. That goes for you, too, SI.